While I hope to recall these feelings for motivation, I hope to leave the past where it is and never worry about, or dwell on, what has happened and cannot be changed.

My son said to me last night, “Dad, I can’t change the past, but I can change how I act in the future.” Wise man. He was apologizing for doing something careless (running behind parked cars at night as they were leaving their parking spots, and completely scaring the crap out of me). He understood the danger after the fact, and I believe him when he says he won’t do it again.

All past acts are (or should be) like that. I am not going to worry about what career path I could have taken or what I could have done differently in past jobs. I will not regret choices I made in the past, or moments lost. I will not dwell on what cannot be changed. Instead, I will think about things like:

“How can I best experience this moment, and how can I improve the next moment by doing something now?”

“Can I live healthier now, and in the future?”

“Can I provide, not only financially, but emotionally for my family today and tomorrow?”

“Am I giving to the moment what I am getting?”

The past few months have allowed me to decompress (my friend’s words) – that was important. I have learned during this time that things I once thought so important are not so. I think the hurricane has passed and it’s time to set a new course and sail on out of this harbor I’ve been moored in the past few months.  Here’s to the waters ahead.

Not necessarily a bucket list, but definitely a list worth working on (even if you don’t do it all in 2011).  I have only done 36 of these (in 14 years).  One (#69) is impossible because Lance won’t be in the race and it’s no longer called the Quiznos Pro Challenge — but it would still be fun to watch.

One of the countless sweet views along the drive.

6 days.  1,150 miles.  5 National Park Service Areas. 1 Narrow-gauge railroad trip. 4 Happy Campers. Countless memories and never-ending views — all within the state lines of our home state.  Check off another item on my Bucket List.  I apologize in advance — as primarily a travel journal, this post is a bit long (no offense taken if you skim or skip any of it – hope my family likes reading it someday).

Southwest Colorado is god’s country.  6 days cannot even come close to doing this land justice.  Towering peaks, sand dunes bigger than any of their seaside peers, spiritually powerful ancient ancestral ruins, crazy gator farms, and roaring mountain rivers were around every corner of our trip.  The only thing it left us longing to do was to return again and again.

I couldn’t stop saying — “Look at that!” or “That’s awesome!” — and I live here (or at least in the same state).

If you are looking for a road trip that your family will remember, you can’t go wrong exploring the majestic lands of Southwest Colorado.  Take the lesser traveled state highways and enjoy the views as you climb over one mountain pass after another.  I was amused at how many Texas license plates I saw.  Texans get it – they may live in the biggest of the lower 48 states – but when it comes to true massive impressiveness, Texas pales in comparison to Colorado.

The Rig

For many reasons, our family enjoys visiting National Park Service Areas, so we hit five of Colorado’s finest during our tour.  We rented a 32 foot RV, which allowed us to travel in significant comfort.  For some in the family, this is their idea of roughing it, and the accommodations were perfect for our journey — comfortable, but mobile enough to let us camp in some awesome campgrounds.

Day 1 –  I got comfortable with handling the big rig during a nice drive from Denver, down to Colorado Springs, and up to Florissant to see the Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument.  We were surprised to learn that Colorado was once home to giant redwoods like those found in Northern California.  Like an explorer’s flag, their petrified stumps remain firmly planted in the soil to prove that they were here (oh yeah — there are also cool fossil beds here – the visitor’s center has some nice samples).

Petrified Redwood Stump at Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument ... and Zoe.

From Florissant, we cruised into Salida, Colorado for a dinner stop at one of our two favorite mountain pizza and brewpub joints, Amicas. I was disappointed that they didn’t have their green chile beer, but still enjoyed a pint of their Headwaters IPA.  For the first night we settled in at San Luis State Park just outside of the Great Sand Dunes National Park.  While not your typical “Mountain” site with lots of trees and flowing rivers, the park had it’s own natural appeal.  In what is essentially a desert, we were welcomed in the morning to nice (but slightly hazy) views of the sand dunes and the surrounding mountains.  The site was perfect for our first night of RV camping — we had a pull through site that was level (no leveling block needed), had electrical hookups (so we could sleep with the AC on), and provided plenty of space from our neighbors.

View from San Luis State Park Campground

Day 2 – After packing up (which is much easier when RV Camping than it is when tent camping), we took the short drive to the Great Sand Dunes National Park.

The Great Sand Dunes - glad we had some cloud cover in that heat!

We spent a good part of the day here, touring the visitors center, completing the Junior Ranger program and exploring the dunes.  It was a bit hot, so the longer-than-expected hike to the dunes required a bit of patience (and water).  A number of our friends have visited this park before, and from their stories we knew what to do. We wrote our names in the sand, rolled down the dunes, made sand angels, and accepted the fact that we were going to end up with sand in all our nooks and crannies.

Whee!

Zac at the Dunes.

Being that it was the middle of July, Medano Creek was not easily accessible, so we all decided we need to come back again in May or early June when it is flowing at its peak. The backdrop of the dunes against the mountains was beautiful — made me wish I was a better photographer and that I had a camera that was better than the one on my phone.

After the sand dunes, we got on the road to Durango.  A roadside sign “Colorado Gators” got our attention.  A few folks had mentioned to us that we should check out the gator farm and we suspected that this was the place.

After a little convincing, Denise agreed to cough-up the hefty admission price ($45 for our group) and we headed on in.  It turned out to be a very interesting experience.  ZQ and I each held one of their gators.  Zoe fed bunnies, and we saw all sorts of gators, snakes, lizards, tortoises, and other reptiles (as well as a few ostriches).  It was definitely “rustic”, but the unplanned side-stop was memorable and fun.

After a scenic drive over Wolf Creek Pass and through Pagosa Springs, we rolled into Durango a little after 7:30 PM and set up camp at an RV Park (we all decided that except for clean showers, RV Parks are not great places to camp).  Even so, we were able to grill up some burgers, make s’mores, and get some sleep for our early morning train ride.

All Aboard!

Day 3 - Straight out of Harry Potter, we missed our trolley, were running late, and couldn’t find Platform 9 3/4. We managed to just make it on the Hogwarts’ Express (I mean the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad) and enjoyed a three plus hour train ride along the river.  Every bend brought an amazing view and the train was fun to ride (pick the right hand side on the way up if you have the opportunity to take a trip on this rail and wear sunglasses to keep the soot out of your eyes).

Just another ho-hum view along the rail.

We arrived in Silverton (an old mining town) and enjoyed an excellent lunch at Grumpy’s Saloon – an old west saloon, with a great piano player (Lacey Black). After a little shopping (cowboy hat & dragon for the boys), we boarded the bus for a quicker ride back down to Durango.  It gave the adults some time to catch a few zees. Our illegally parked RV survived without incident, and we loaded up and headed off for Mesa Verde National Park.  I decided I need to come back to Durango and spend some time touring the breweries that make some of my favorite ales (Ska and Steamworks).  Also, the downtown area, with its river walk, looked like it had some cool shops and restaurants to explore.

Arriving in Mesa Verde, we secured an excellent camp spot in Morefield Village Campground – on the Hopi loop.  We stopped counting the deer we saw because there were so many.  Taking the advice of our good friends, we headed up for a nice dinner at the Metate Room at Fair View Lodge in Mesa Verde.  The adults split a bottle of Pinot Noir (if you count one glass for me and the rest for Denise as splitting).  The view from the restaurant was worth the fairly expensive price of the fare (which was very tasty).  We watched a killer thunderstorm roll-in and light up the sky just as the sun was setting (long and threatening bolts blanketed the mesa).  Heading back to the campsite, we were all glad that we did not have to set up and stay in tents during the storm.  A quick game of Sorry and we were all ready to crash.

Cliff Palace - Mesa Verde National Park

Day 4 - A well scheduled 11:00 tour of Cliff Palace allowed a tired group of Huts to sleep-in.  The cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde National Park were very cool.  We all enjoyed learning about how the Ancestral Pueblo Indians lived and thrived on the mesas and then in the cliffs for nearly 700 years.  As one ranger noted, Cliff Palace is the reason people come, but Balcony House is the one they remember.

Balcony House - Like the New Cowboy Hat?

We enjoyed them both.  The Balcony house tour had more ladders and a cool tunnel, and some very well built dwellings, so I understand his point, but the shear magnitude of Cliff Palace was very impressive in its own right.

We wore ourselves out visiting the dwellings, and touring the museum and visitors centers (and tracking down the answers to the Jr. Ranger questions).

One of my favorite pics from the trip. At Mesa Verde.

After filling up and a little ice cream at the Far View Cafe (and filling up our RV tank again — fueling an RV ain’t cheap), we headed for Telluride.

The drive to Telluride over Lizard’s Head Pass, was unbelievable.  We passed small mining towns, and a number of campsites that looked very inviting.  The hills were green and the wildlife along the road was plentiful.  At one point we saw a herd of what must have been 15-20 deer.  Our preferred campground for the night in the Telluride Town Park was booked solid, so we grabbed a quick and tasty dinner at Brown Dog Pizza and headed out to find another site.  The next campground was full too, so we ended up at a National Forest Service campground (Matterhorn) about 12 miles out of town — at this point it was after 10 PM – so we quickly and quietly set up camp (pretty easy to do in an RV) and settled in for the night.

Day 5 – Another chance to sleep-in for some tired campers.  When we woke, we were surprised at how beautiful our campsite was.  Nestled in the pines with the subtle sound of a nearby river, we really enjoyed our morning here. The only two negatives were the muffled auto sounds from the highway, and the high concentration of mosquitos. Nonetheless, it was certainly a spot we would stay at again.

Downtown -- Telluride, Colorado

Our Telluride day was pretty lazy in general, a chance to recharge for the final leg of our journey.  We shopped, lunched at The Butcher and the Baker, rode the free Gondola, and explored the very walkable town on foot. Telluride is ridiculously beautiful. Located in a box canyon with historic Victorian homes, a main street lined with old brick buildings, and a cascading long waterfall (Bridal Veil Falls) at the end of the canyon standing guard over the town, it is hard to imagine that a town can be any more appealing to the senses.  While our stay here was brief, we all recognized that we will be back, maybe soon (Willie Nelson, #74 on my Bucket List, is there in September).

From Telluride, we made the very manageable drive to The Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park near Montrose, Colorado.  Upon arriving, we made a quick stop to the visitors center and took a brief peak at the canyon — it was awesome.  We learned that there would be an astronomy ranger talk that night near the campground and decided to check it out. We headed to the campgrounds and five baby deer guided us to our site (B-20).  Probably our favorite campsite of the trip — nice to have on our last night.  We played a little campground Bocci (Mom was on the winning team both times, so Dad and the kids had to clean up dinner).  We had an awesome taco dinner, wrapped up around sunset, and headed to the amphitheater for the Ranger Talk.  The astronomy lesson was educational for kids and adults alike.  At the end we all got to look through a few telescopes — we saw Saturn and its rings and a wicked star cluster (M13).  Heading to bed on our final night we still had 4 really happy campers.

Day 6 – Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park is a hidden gem.  One of the newer National Parks, it is well deserving of the classification.

Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park

Christmas Card Potential?

The canyon walls, particularly along the North Rim, are a rock climber’s dream at 2,000 feet straight up and down.  The Gunnison River makes a thundering sound through the canyon, and each overlook provides an opportunity for those afraid of heights to scare themselves silly. We loved it!

We drove the Rim Drive on the South Rim and went to a number of the overlooks.  We saw a young buck deer at one, falcons at another, and a soaring golden eagle at yet another — oh yeah — the canyon was impressive too.

The kids wrapped up their Jr. Ranger programs, including the night explorer program and got some cool patches and pins for their efforts.

Heading out in the afternoon, we decided to stop by Curecanti National Recreation Area and take the long way to Carbondale (a Blue Highway special).

Curecanti National Recreation Area

The drive was the perfect way to end the trip.  From the mountain top vistas, to the river valleys near Redstone, Colorado, we saw some of the best Colorado has to offer.  Cruising into Carbondale, Colorado for our sunset dinner at White House Pizza (our other favorite mountain pizza joint) – the trip ended perfectly.

Cheers to you Colorado!

I finished up the three hour drive home while the kids dosed off and Denise complimented me on a trip well planned.  Settling in safely at Midnight, I was a combination of whipped and satisfied.  If it’s anything like this one, I can’t wait for the next adventure.

It Just Doesn't Matter

My nearly eleven-year-old son is entering a new realm of consciousness and I am struggling with how to guide him through it. He is starting to realize that he is not good at certain things, it makes him self-conscious, insecure, and sad. Younger kids rarely have this problem because they think they are the best at everything. Seeing this recent change in ZQ has tested my parenting skills. What do I say and do, and how do I help him develop and continue to be a happy cool kid?

I have taken a two step approach.

First, I am trying really hard to open the channels of communication to give him a sounding board. We take walks, sit on the porch, whatever it takes to get an isolated 30-60 minutes a day to talk without interruption. During these talks I really try to focus on listening (which is tough for me). This approach is definitely working – he has told me more in the last week about his thoughts and struggles than he told me the entire 3-4 months before.

Second, we are developing 5 guiding thoughts.  They are:

(1) Always Do Your Best: Don’t worry about being the best, worry about doing your best.  Understand and accept that some days your best will not be as good as it has been, but know how to bring out the best in yourself in any situation.

(2) Concentrate: This one is a tough one for ZQ (possibly a sign that he’s his father’s son).  Fully focus on what you are doing all the time.  Be in the moment.

(3) Have Fun: If you’re not having fun doing something talk about it.  Sometimes you’ll find that you have fun if you are doing your best and concentrating, but sometimes that won’t matter.  Life’s too short to not have fun and if someone is not fun to be around, then don’t hang out with them.

(4)  Follow Your Passion:  Pursuing passion is one of the most fulfilling things to do in life.  Figure out what you love to do and go out and do it (even if you’re not the best at it).  If you don’t know what you love to do yet, try new things.  Don’t give up right away (even if it’s not fun) — give everything a fair shot first.  On a side note, the funny thing whenever we talk about passion, he seems to focus on girls (definitely a sign that he’s his father’s son).

(5)  It Just Doesn’t Matter:  Thank you Bill Murray and Meatballs.  This has been a fun lesson to pass on to ZQ.  As long as you’re doing 1-4, winning or being the best at something JUST DOESN’T MATTER.  IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER.

Hope this works for him.  I know I struggle with many of the same internal issues.  As members of a materialistic society, we tend to get very consumed with keeping up with the Joneses.  I want that shiny thing. I want to go to that party or that place. I wish I was good enough to do that.  So much so, that we miss out on great experiences, learning new things, and meeting new people or really connecting with the ones we already know — we miss out on happiness.

Me & ZQ

I realized two things today.  First, Item 1 on my bucket list has been wrong for years.  Instead of being “Become Parents”, the goal Denise and I made together over 15 years ago should have been “Become Good Parents”. Second, until it hit me today, I don’t think I ever realized that I was a good parent.  I always felt like I was an adequate parent at best (the schlep that went off to work before they were up in the morning, and showed up just before they started getting ready for bed – a weekend Dad at best). However, the time I have been given with my family over the last few weeks has made me realize my wife and I ARE good parents (of course, I always knew Denise was more than a good parent).

Even better than coming to this realization, is that I have also come to realize that I am surrounded by really good parents.  Our children and our children’s friends are really lucky kids.  While it’s true that becoming a parent is amazingly simple (and really fun) for most.  It’s also true that becoming a good, or great, parent requires constant and considered effort.

Denise & Zoe

The time I have been given recently has afforded me the opportunity to see all kinds of amazing parenting going on in my neighborhood. Moms and Dads alike are continually there for their kids.  They work hard, directly and indirectly, at being good parents and at providing the best opportunities for their children to grow and develop. These kids, while well taken care of, are not really spoiled, and more importantly are really good people. Don’t get me wrong, they are still kids and because of that they do all sorts of things that require parental intervention.  They say mean things or act in inappropriate ways, but without fail, the parenting I see around me is awesome.  Of course, we all have our own ways of disciplining our kids, and our own ways of helping them through difficult situations, but all-in-all it is hard to find serious fault in how my neighbors and friends parent their kids.  If anything, I suppose our kids might have it a little easy, and we may need to work on appreciation for what we have and on the value of hard work – but I see that work being done on a regular basis.  If it takes a village to raise a child, then I am proud to be a member of this village.

I typically think that our kids grow up way too fast, and I want things to slow down. But the coolest thing about life going so fast is that it won’t be long until I am able to see the incredible adults these kids turn out to be.

Encroachment on the Hut - 10 Yards and Get Her Something Nice

A guy in a zebra suit just came into our house and threw a yellow hankie at me.  I have been called for “encroachment” and there is no point arguing it.  I never quite understood that penalty in football, or how it differs from off-sides, but I get it now and I am guilty as charged.

A mere 3 1/2 weeks ago, my beautiful bride was blissfully enjoying the life of a work-from-home mom with two kids in school.  While managing a full-time work schedule, she also had time to enjoy a long lunch with a neighbor, make calls to her brother in California, or just enjoy the comings and goings of our relatively quiet city street.  Then, with one simple call, her blissful world got turned all around.

Now, Camp Dad is in full force and the kids are home on summer break.  Generally, I try to keep things mellow for her by taking every opportunity to get the kids out of the house to do errands, go to the pool, or just play, but I still see the frustration mounting.

• I notice it in her slightly raised voice when the kids and I are in the kitchen cleaning up our latest breakfast masterpiece and she is in the office on a call trying to help out some real estate closer.
• I see it in her still kind eyes when I quietly ask, “Can I use the computer to change my fantasy baseball lineup?”.
• I hear it in her tone when she asks “have you called that guy back yet about that opportunity?”.
• And it dawns on me when she sweetly hands me a daily honey-do errand list as long as my arm.

Is that a train ahead?

Quick question:  When taking a road trip, do you prefer to plan everything out (where you stay, what you see, where you eat, etc.), or do you prefer to wing it and let the road lead where it may?

I am faced with this choice right now as I plan our upcoming road trip through Southwest Colorado (#71 on the Bucket List).  The Eagle Scout in me wants to “Be Prepared” and plan everything – each town we will stay in, each campground, each site or park that we will see, etc.  However, I think part of the magic of a road trip, is not having a set plan or destination in mind.  Maybe you want to take an unexpected side trip to go see the World’s Largest Frying Pan.  Maybe you want to stay an extra night in Durango or skip out on a trail ride.

I have never traveled in a motor home before, but for this trip we will be driving a fully loaded 31 foot motor home.  I am planning to throw caution to the wind.  I have a general map and timeline in mind (so that we can get the motor home back in time), and I am going to certainly reserve our seats on the Durango & Sliverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, but for the rest I’m going to let spontaneity rule the day.  Of course, given the size of our rig, I know some campgrounds may be ruled out, so I have a list of potential sites in mind, but if they are full when we get there, then we will just have to figure out a plan B — seems crazy and fun at the same time — which means the Huts should have some Crazy Fun!

Also, if you have any “must see or dos” in the Durango, Telluride, Ouray, or Southwest Colorado area, I would love to hear them.

Happy Trails.

Me and Dad a while ago

Seems fitting today to thank my dad. I never understood how difficult the task of being the father you want to be is until I became a father. As a teen, I was often quick to judge or complain about what my dad did or didn’t do. At times, I probably even questioned if he loved me or not. Now, looking back, I understand how completely unaware I was.

Dad – thank you. I am grateful for all you have done for me, but more importantly, I am grateful that fate allows me to continue to learn from you and to tell you how appreciated you are.

Cheers to you!

I intend to remain steadfast in my quest to experience some of the best life has to offer by attacking my Bucket List (and always refilling it). However, even as my daily routine has changed, there are eight guiding principals I strive to follow as I struggle to be a better husband, father and friend. The Great 8 are:

1. Health Matters – get fit (I have a long way to go with that), eat right and at home, pay attention to prevention and seek treatment when needed.
2. Less is More – get organized, simplify everything and appreciate the true value of everything I have.
3. Listen and Learn – listen more than I speak, read, enjoy music, embrace educational moments as a keen observer.
4. Family Man – devote the best parts of my live to teaching, and learning from, my family.
5. Being THERE – be there for others, participate in my community, love my neighbor, and be a real friend.
6. Controlled Burn – burn emotional calories in the right way. Avoid negativity, gossip, and unhealthy competition. Develop a calm confident style. Worry less and relax.
7. Early to Rise (Productivity) – master my schedule, get up, get out and get it done while still allowing for moments of spontaneity.
8. Explorer – explore the world (outside of work and home) and the people and experiences it has to offer.

“Do as many things on your bucket list as possible, but always keep filling it.”

– Dave Buschena

I have always been a compulsive list maker. I have lists of lists. I have lists that are twenty years old and lists that are twenty minutes old. Recently I have come to decide that the only really important list is the Bucket List, and, as my cousin once advised, that list should never be completed.

As a novice blogger, it is my ambition to use this forum to chronicle my quest to not only do as many things on my bucket list as possible, but to keep filling that bottomless bucket. Successes and failures will receive equal billing. As soon as I figure this thing out, I will share my list(s). One of the first bucket lists I remember writing was as a newlywed with my wife of now 18 years. I am frankly a little scared to dig that one out, but I think it’s time. It will serve as an excellent starting point for this project. For now, I can check off one more item — Create a Blog, but I guess I need to add another item — Maintain a Blog.